Friday, June 29, 2012

Starting Over



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I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that in about two months, I will have newborn in the house. I go from being really excited about it to being completely overwhelmed and scared out of my mind about it. My husband has been keeping the excited energy going lately which helps. I'll probably never know if he is really that excited or if he is just as scared as me but which ever it is, it is amazing that he is maintaining such an enthusiastic front.

When Aubrey was born I was scared too. Having a child for the first time is pretty much the biggest lifestyle adjustment that you will ever make. With Aubs, it was just that a huge adjustment. I could no longer do whatever I wanted and I was nursing so she needed me pretty much around the clock. The easy thing about having Aubrey was that I wasn't working at the time and I was able to focus all of my energy on her. Well it wasn't easy, it was exhausting but at least I didn't have anything pulling me in a different direction.

This time I don't have that luxury. I have a two year old. A two year old that is use to being my center of attention. The fact that I won't be able to give her that full attention anymore kills me. I know it will be good for her in the long run but I am so scared for those first few months of adjustment. We have such a comfortable routine right now and I hate to shake that up. Change is good though, or so they say.

Another thing that I am scared about is that Aubrey was a really good baby. She sleep through the night pretty early, she nursed like a champ, she didn't cry very often and she was just all around content. Everyone is quick to tell me that there is no way this will happen twice. The next baby is destined to be a crier and a non-sleeper. I don't mind if she isn't as easy of a baby that Aubrey was, I am just scared that if all these people are right then I will have a nightmare of a baby. If anyone has had a different experience I would love to hear about it. Just one good story would make me feel a little bit more optimistic.

On the upside- we will have a newborn again! A cute cuddly wiggly little baby that we will fall hard for just like we did for Aubrey. We get to celebrate little victories like a first smile, a giggle, rolling over and pulling up. The we this time isn't just Joe and I this time, it includes Aubrey which will be so amazing. I can't wait to see her with her sister. She has such a sweet nature that I know that she will be so loving at times. Trust me I know not all the time but those times that she is will make up for it 10 fold.

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Me with Aubrey on her first Easter when she was 3 weeks old


A sleepy smiley one month old Aubrey

7 comments:

  1. I don't think your fears are unnatural. Like you said it will just be an adjustment! You will get it figured out in no time. I feel the same way about not being able to give Ava my full attention. And the thought of her being jealous makes me sad... Which is probably why I'm not pregnant yet lol. You can do it, think of many people do it. My sis in law in pregnant with number 4! And the oldest is only 6. Now thats scary

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  2. beautiful baby then, a beautiful fun loving child now! I am a FIRM believer that it is how you make it. If you stress, your baby will be stressed. If your fun, giggling, jumping up and down, soothing, comforting, your baby will feed of that. Your children look to you and your husband for directions how to feel. Right after I had number 2 I cried and cried feeling guilty that number 1 might be upset or to think we were replacing him. Number 1 is happy as ever! He has his special times with mommy and daddy. and when Number 2 doesnt require attention we run, play, tag, read books. WE HAVE A BLAST! love is multiplied in my house not divided.

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  3. I always joke with my husband that if we ever have another one, he/she would be the complete opposite of my daughter - who for the most part is an angel. I had a hard time with emotions/hormones after my daughter and i'm not sure I want to go through that again. I look forward to seeing pictures of your little one when she makes her arrival - and of course Miss Aubrey!

    xoxo
    Holly
    Sunshine State of Mind

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  4. Such a beautiful baby! I hope I didn't scare you to much talking about Hudson's first few months. You should also know I had a high risk pregnancy due to my uterine anomaly, IUGR, etc and csection at 38 weeks. I believe his rough start in life contributed to a difficult first few months. That being said, he's very happy now and such a pleasant little dude.

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  5. She's so precious! I have a post exactly like this brewing! It's totally like starting from square 1 again, but "worse" because we have toddlers now! Braden sounds just like Aubrey. He was a GREAT baby. Always slept awesome (minus some road bumps at 4-5 months) breastfed without a hitch and was just an all around happy and content baby, wasn't one of those "hold me all the time" ones. I am praying for us both that everyone is WRONG and that we will have just as "good" of babies as our firsts! I think it's possible my mom said my brother and I were both awesome babies - so there ya go! It's possible! ;)

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  6. It's good to read this and know how other people are feeling the same. We are just expecting our first and while we are both over the moon excited about it all I can't help but feel a bit anxious at not knowing what to expect. Honestly, I already worry about things like bringing a second child into the mix and we don't even have the first one! How crazy is that? Regardless I think you all will do great even if it's rough for a few months while everyone adjusts to the new normal. And yay for new little squirmy wormy babies!

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  7. Oh gosh Mallory, I feel the exact same way. I'm not pregnant again, but Josh and I are wondering if we should try again at some point, to give Lillian a sibling. I want one for her with all my heart...I can't imagine growing up without a sibling. But the thought of having her not be the center of our universe anymore, or of her having hurt feelings about it...uggh. It hits me hard. I know in the long run she'd appreciate a sibling and be sad to not have one ever, oh man that would be so so hard. I honestly don't know how we'd do it. I know so many people do though and it's always fine. I'm also scared of labor and delivery again. And pregnancy. I was one of the unlucky nauseous for 9 MONTHS women. Sigh. It's all worth it though...I'm eager to hear your story as it unfolds. :)

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