...hopefully sooner than later.
Before I really get into this post I just want to say that every experience is different and every child is different. I know there are a lot of pregnant mamas out there expecting their second child and I don't want to scare anyone. This post is just to vent the troubles I had during my first week home alone with two. It is also so I can look back and see that it does indeed get better.
I swear she was content before I picked up my camera
Even before I got pregnant with Finley I would always ask woman who had a toddler and an infant if it was hard. Their response was always yes. Now that I am in their shoes, I have found that I am no exception to the rule. It is hard, it is REALLY hard.
I had it pretty easy the first month of Finley's life because I had a lot of help. My husband is self employed so he was able to stay home for a whole month to help out with Aubrey. Also my parents who usually only winter down here in Florida came down for the month of September to meet the baby and also help out. My nights of course were still hard but having people around to distract Aubs while I was taking care of the baby was so great. That all changed on October 1st when the hubs went back to work and my parents went back up to Pennsylvania not to return until December. On top of that Joey's mom who usually makes us or has us over for dinner at least twice a week happened to go on a business trip that same week. So basically I was thrown to the wolves.
Monday through Wednesday were really bad. There was a lot of crying- from all three of us. Aubs went into a little bit of a shock mode not having an additional person here to play with her and wanted me to pick her up every time I picked the baby up and sit on my lap every time the baby was on my lap. My independent girl who prefers to play by herself most of the time was now wanting constant attention. On top of Aubrey being super clingy, Finley is was I guess you would call a "high maintenance" baby. She doesn't like to be put down pretty much ever and when I am holding her she prefers to walk around, be bounced or be patted on the back at all times. So 8 times out of 10 if you stop moving she starts screaming. I could go on and on but I think that sums up the main reasons why being home alone with two kids two and under from 8:30 am- 6:30 pm had been so incredibly difficult. I knew it was going to be hard but I never imagined that it would be quite this hard.
Even though it's only been a week, I have already found some ways of coping and no they don't include alcohol (although I kind of wish they did- if I only had the energy). I found that it is best to get out of the house. My worst days (including yesterday- which was my worst yet) happen when I don't leave the house at all. I sort of have a fear of breastfeeding in public and that's why I avoid going anywhere. I would of course do it as discreetly as possible but I'm terrified of encountering someone who is rude to me about it. I decided that I am just going to have to get over that fear if I want to maintain my sanity. I have still avoided having to do it so far because I am only out a couple of hours at a time but I am at least willing to try if I have to. Another necessity is baby wearing. I have Fin in a wrap an average of 3 to 4 hours a day. Finley can be so colicky that a lot of the time the only way she will calm and go to sleep is when I have her in the wrap. This also give me a chance to do things with Aubs that I wouldn't be able to do otherwise because I wouldn't have my hands free. It especially comes in "handy" the 50 times a day that I have to help her pull down her undies so she can use the potty. Lastly I wouldn't be able to survive without coffee, granola bars and apples. The coffee for obvious reasons and the apples and granola bars because sometimes I have absolutely no time to eat.
So it's basically we are in a state of emergency over here and that's why I haven't been posting. For the first time in a few days both girls are sleeping at the same time and Finley isn't demanding to be held. Although I have to admit that the swing is doing my job for me right now. She only likes it sometimes so I take it when I can. At night I don't have time because I am still going to sleep between 8 and 9 because Finley is still sleeping like the newborn that she is and I am unable to get naps in because I am up with Aubs. Anyway, I have faith that it will get better and this will all be worth it in the end. Please feel free to leave positive vibes and success stories in the comments because this overtired mama could really use them.